New Exciting Trends!!!

Downingsarticles

Tubing is one trend that has been growing in popularity. There are underground rivers that run through and near Downings. Gamblers have set standards for rubber inner tubes, which competitors will race through the dark passages, trying to keep from getting smashed against walls, smacking into the low hanging ceiling, or sucked into a side channel where your chances of survival grow slim. Every week or two, an enthusiast is hauled from the water. Sometimes they can be revived, and there is a demand for metabolics at these events. Teams are beginning to form. They have names like the Terrible Trout, the Killer Krakens, and the Dizzy Dragons.

Another trend is Fighting Robot Matches. They are remote controlled, of course. No one wants Thinking Machines. Still, the very well-known and fashionable Ms. Trakas has been seen at the events, which always brings attention. The first few have been spectacular, showing off the formidable mechanical and other tech skills here in Downings. My favorite was the fire shooting Negasaurus War Machine. Many competitors were sent into the slag heap that day, my friends. Until the Colossal Whirr chewed it into tiny pieces and rolled over it as it exploded. That was AWESOME! And DJ Skylar was amazingsauce, as usual. The caves where they happen smell like burnt oil and shredded steel for months after, and the amount of tech that is shredded in a small time is significant. But boy, is it worth it!

For those looking for liquid excitement, Sigsour Party Drinks has been getting more popular in bars on the Imperial Way. There are rumors that they had attempted a hostile takeover of Nog’s Grog, but they seem to have changed their mind about that. Their new spokeswoman, Hildy Miner, threw a special concert to promote the up and coming brand. No comment from Nog’s Grog chief Amaranth, but former SPD spokespeople Cherise and Clarise were delighted to speak on the record.

“Those Sigsour people. They’re trash. They’re (hick) the worst ever. They, like, never told us where we needed to be. And they were sooooo disorga…dis…what’s that word again Clarise?”

“Oh man, I am so wasted. What are we talking about? Oh yeah, that Gary is such a sleaze. I mean, seriously. Like, he’s all old and stuff and he’s a total liar. Pass me some more of that booze, Cherry?”

(Entourage) “Nog’s Grog, it gets you drunk. Wheeee.”

Their agent cut the interview off here. What classics. This is reality vid gold, right here. Maybe vid parties will be the next big thing. Tune in to find out. This is DJ Deathrat. Out.

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